BLOG #2
So I’ve been working (unpaid volunteering via the JobCentre, so ‘working’) at the New Brighton Heritage Centre.
Heard of it? Didn’t think so.
Basically, the seafront near my home town was once the resort town to go to; we had the biggest outdoor swimming pool in Europe, had the biggest Tower in England (50 feet bigger than Blackpool, a-thank you) and we had a rich history of smugglers, wreckers, industry and general wonders. Note the past tense.
So I’ve been trying to come up with ideas to do (in the SUMMER, because right now it’s so cold my nipples have frostbite) to try and get some interest into the place, get some tourism-ish stuff going on. Which I will now brain-vomit upon you all.
- LIVING STATUE; we have a widely-despised statue down on the front of a Pierrot holding up a ‘Welcome To New Brighton’ sign, and a Pierrot would make an excellent living statue costume. It’s monochrome, so the make up would be a cinch (black and white, easy enough to get hold of), and the costume is baggy enough to allow me to breathe without being too obvious - I’m not exactly an expert at this, y’know. It would something for me to do in the summer, and all proceeds would go to the Heritage Centre.
- REN FAIRE; being rather close to Chester, with several local historical re-enactment societies (include Viking & Medieval), a brilliant history and adequate space (not to mention the nearby-ish theme park called Camelot) - I reckon this could well work, especially out on the Dips (large swaths of common land on the sea front, grassed and popular for picnics and kite flying)
- OPEN AIR THEATRE; knowing the amount of drama-y music-ish creative types that i do, I wouldn’t mind setting up some random open air things - anything from a monologue every other half hour, or trying to do Shakespeare plays in under 15 minutes (it’s possible, trust me). It would be something fun for drama-inclined folk and something to watch as the many randoms meander down the promenade.
- HUMAN CHESS; something I have always wanted to do. With the costumes and everything, with suitably goofy people to fill them (the public would be the ‘players’ I suppose, unless they expressed a determined interest in being a ‘piece’.) I rather want to play the White Knight (and convince my lovely wife-cum-best friend to play the Black Queen so that we may enact a delightful star-crossed romance, across the board)
I will attempt to cook up some more bright ideas in my boiling brain pan, but for now these are things to chew on. If anyone has any ideas, for fundraising or just raising awareness, do sling them my way.
TO GAME OR NOT TO GAME.
Now, an apology before I begin, because my brother, sister & best friend are all members of a group which I will now proceed to denigrate, deride and generally defecate on, verbally at least. You all know I still love you, even though you do, on occasion, irritate me beyond all belief or reason.
So, I’m going to talk about the word ‘gamer’.
Meaning, not as the logical amongst us would imagine, someone who games, just as someone who reads is a reader, and someone who drives is a driver, and someone who writes is a writer… if you don’t follow my point by now, hen you may as well turn back now; it’s all like this.
Anyway, gamer here meaning and applied exclusively (to the point of insanity) to those who care more about their next gaming session than personal hygiene - work and/or school - human interaction - paying various bills - general health of their bodies and bank account. Delete as appropriate.
I have been told, on occasions of which there is an exhaustive list, that I am not a gamer and - so far - I have agreed with this statement.
After all, I don’t own any console at the moment and the last one I did own (not counting the Nintendo DS as a console) was a PS1. Not terribly up to date, obviously. I don’t count the Nintendo DS, partially because it’s a handheld device and I wouldn’t call the Gameboy I had in my youth as a console either - but mostly because I got it solely to read 100 Best Books on.
I now have a Kindle, problem solved.
Where was I? Oh yes, the word gamer.
So, previously I would never have presumed to call myself a gamer, mainly because of the way I view games. I spend a lot of time watching other people play games because I see them as interactive films - I enjoy the cutscenes far more than the actual gameplay, and generally care more about the story than actually progressing or amassing points/loot.
Take the Portal games, for example. I still have not completed Portal I, because my gaming Achilles’ Heel is jumping with any semblance of accuracy. I had trouble with jumping in Spyro, so you can imagine how often I accidentally sent Chell falling to her inevitable doom. Yet I love both games, with a passion that borders on the sexual. I watched my various gamer friends&relations play through both games, made them (my brother in particular) stop to read EVERY SINGLE DAMN poster and piece of graffiti and any other piece of legible writing or interesting symbol. I am infatuated with the world of the games, with the characters, their dynamics, the theories, and the science- oh, the science.
The same goes for the Assassin’s Creed games, the Dragon Age games and, mostly because of the apparent requirement to kill dragons, Skyrim. I watch people play these like I’m watching a film, because I garner more enjoyment than attempting to play them and failing miserably.
I am one of those people - whose inability to play the game renders the game utterly demoralising and depressing. I have no wish to play Call of Duty or Mass Effect or Portal II, because I know that I will end up sobbing with frustration or breaking my pad over my knee.
I’ve lost the point I was trying to make at the beginning of this article - what was it? Oh yes, gamer.
The question I have is simple; what the fuck am I supposed to call myself? A non-gamer? A person-who-games-occasionally-with-the-right-game? Gamer-ish? Fair-weather gamer? I like the two-syllable approach you people are robbing me off, and I find myself having to hedge whenever I explain my not-a-gamer status.
‘I’m not a gamer, but I play a few games in a specific genre.’
‘I’m a gamer! Well, not really - I play X and X, but I’m not, like, proper into games.’
‘SOMEONE TALK TO ME ABOUT SYPRO, FOR THE LOVE OF GODS!’
Don’t get me wrong - I have nothing against elitism. I am quite an advocate of it, being a snob in many aspects of me own life (grammar, spelling, books, film, tv, clothes, fonts, computers - right down to what kind of teabags you use) but it’s simply illogical to me that I am banned from using such a widely encompassing umbrella term simply because I game only occasionally.
So I have made a decision (one I fully intend to be challenged loudly by the afore mentioned brother/sister/best friend) that I am damn well going to call myself a gamer.
With a nice caveat.
I’m a platform gamer - which I know is slightly ridiculous given my previous assessment of my ability to jump in game - because the games I can list off as having played (played meaning played either to completion or to a level where I can claim to have played it, not to have tried to) are Spyro, Rayman, Crash Bandicoot, Jak & Daxter, Rachet & Clank and Little Big Planet.
I hasten to add I have played other games, okay, but those are the ones I think I have played most successfully with the most enjoyment out of the actual game. Rather than the enjoyment that comes out of playing 3 Player with your siblings and accidentally getting them all killed. A lot. Repeatedly. And the ensuing verbal brawl. Then the actual brawl.
In conclusion, and at the very real risk of having my new status ripped to virtual shreds in the ensuing backlash, here I sit - a proud platform gamer.
Next bone to pick? Player fucking One and their fucking superiority complex ;)
UNTITLED
see, here’s the thing you don’t understand,
that you just cannot comprehend;
we are THOSE kind of people.
the better kind, the brilliant kind,
the kind you wait your entire mundane existence
to meet. we’re the dreamers,
the visionaries; prophets, genius-
the straight-up
down-right
so-fucked-up-it’s-beautiful
honest-to gods
FREAKS OF FUCKING NATURE!
and you love us.
we make this sorry experience
called life - we make it wonderful,
tolerable, tangible, liveable.
we’re not JUST people,
not just human- we’re fireworks,
we’re supernovas,
the magnesium as it hits the water,
the biggest fucking bang!
hold onto your genitals boys, girls and everything else-
cause we’re going to blow this
world wide open. we’re the diamonds
in the rough, stars set in coal,
we’re the fire you stole from the gods…
and, baby? all you are is dust.
